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Women's Health: Domestic Violence
WHAT YOU SHOULD
KNOW
Domestic violence (commonly called wife beating) is the
use of strong, physical force by your spouse or another member
of the household. It includes hitting, yelling, or touching
when and where it is not wanted. Whether the abuser is angry or
calm, it is important to remember that the violence is not your
fault. Physical abuse may be preceded or accompanied by
emotional abuse. You are being emotionally abused if you are
regularly insulted and made to feel worthless, or if you live
in constant fear. Women are the most common targets of domestic
violence (but men may be abused as well). At least 1 in every 6
women gets struck sometime during a relationship, and at least
1 million women each year are beaten repeatedly by their
husbands or boyfriends.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you should know
that the abuse may get worse with time and may even end in
death. It is important to remember that there are others like
you, and help is available when you are ready. No one has the
right to injure you; it is against the
law.
Causes
While there are many reasons for
domestic violence, is usually occurs because one partner's
temper gets out of control. Excessive drinking often leads to a
lack of control and then to physical force. The abusive partner
may have been abused or witnessed abuse while growing
up.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
-
Leave if you feel that violence is going to occur.
Warning signs of danger may
include:
-
Your partner's use of
alcohol
-
Your partner's threats to use a weapon or to harm
the children, other family members, or
pets
-
Forced sexual contact
-
Less frequent apologies by your partner after an
attack.
-
Domestic violence victims often fail to report their
injuries out of fear or embarrassment. Nevertheless, you
should report all attacks or beatings to the police so that
the abuse is documented. The police can also protect you if
you or the attacker is moving out. It is a good idea to get
the officer's name and badge number and a copy of the
report.
-
Find somebody you can trust (your doctor, spiritual
adviser, close friend, or family member, for example) and
tell them what is happening to you. Talking about the abuse
may make you feel better. Feeling ashamed is natural, but
remember that no one deserves to be
abused.
-
It is important to have a safety plan in case you are
being threatened:
-
Pack a suitcase or box with extra clothing for you
and your children, medicines you may need, money,
important phone numbers and papers, and an extra set of
car and house keys. Keep it at a friend's or neighbor's
house.
-
Tell a supportive friend or family member that you
may show up at any time of day or night in case of an
emergency.
-
If you do not have a close friend or family member
you can trust, make a list of other safe places to go
(shelters, hotels, or police or emergency
departments).
-
Many victims do not leave their homes because they do
not have money or a job. Planning ahead may help you in the
future. Try to save money and put it in a safe place. Keep
your job or look for a job. If you cannot get a job, try to
get the training you need to get ready for a job in the
future.
-
Look up the phone numbers of the following agencies and
keep them close at hand in case you need
them:
-
Social Services
-
Local safe house or
shelter
-
The following organizations may also provide help in an
emergency:
-
National Organization for Victim Assistance
(NOVA): 1-800-TRY-NOVA
(1-800-879-6682).
-
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
(202) 638-6388 or (303)
839-1852.
Seek Care Immediately
If...
-
You fear you are about to be beaten or abused (call
911 or
0 [operator] for help).
-
You are injured in a flare-up of
violence.
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